Week 2-Developing a routine

Before I start writing my material, I think it's important to have a strong entrance. Most comedians start by welcoming their audience and then move straight into one-liners to warm the audience however as I comedian starting out, I think it's important to introduce myself and especially my ego.

-Hello, Hello. I'm kinda new here, so I'd like to introduce myself:
-I'm Danny Lambert and my friends often call me 'just abit rape-y'
-Now, it can't be that bad, I mean statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
-and I know Dark humour isn't everyone's cup of liquidised dead baby...
-but if you expected me to tea, this performance certainly wont be PG.

-Talking of PG, I like to think me and that Monkey Puppet from the adverts are actually quite similar,
-I mean despite making fat, mentally challenged men tea
-It's actually rare we don't have some greasey 40 year old man's hand up our arse

-I try, I try so hard not to be rape-y! but I think it all started last year with my ex....
-we was trying abit of role-playing for the first time, I was positioned like this, and she wanted me to play my father
-I thought it was abit weird but I went with it
-The bitch wasn't happy when I left her for her six year old sister

-I'm so sad we broke up
-She was so good in bed for a six year old

-and you know it's a bad Valentine's Day when the lamppost at the end of the road gets more cards and flowers than I do.

-I actually got an accidental text Valentine's Day, it read:
-Hi honey, on my way home now, can't wait for a special dinner, Love you loads
-kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, Kiss.
-Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I text back
-Don't bother, I don't love you, you're a cunt and I've have been shagging your eldest daughter.

-You should have seen my Mum's face when she got home.

-About my sister, she always makes it really obvious when she's on her period

-my Dad's cock always tastes like blood.

I'm really proud of the material I have come up with so far, especially as it is original and I would like to think fresh. Next week I hope to perform it to the class finding out their reaction and criticisms.